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Trio en Medellín

Part Two


“Larry and Sabrina”


Scene 1

We find a nondescript gringo in a bar in Poblado, Medellin.  He’s had too much to drink and attempts to grope Sabrina, a scantily-clad 31 year-old paisa.  When he turns away, she pours white powder into his highball. 

We watch a man dressed as a Vicar offer assistance to the gringo, as he stumbles out of the bar.   

From around a corner, a women with three half-starved children approaches and pleads with the vicar to make a confession. 

The vicar laughs:  “I don’t have enough time to hear your confession, mujer.  Now get out of here, or else!” 

Three henchmen and the Vicar dump the gringo into the trunk of a car.  

CUT TO

A Television Newscast.  

A female broadcaster describes “another in a series of assaults on foreign men in Medellín by the ‘Vicar of Escopolina.’”

“…No one knows where or when this ruthless gang will strike next.”

Music and credits -- a dark urban beat, with Gregorian overtones.



Scene 2

Larry Stumpf, a strapping blond-haired American, 41, is shooting billiards.  Nothing about the rough-and-tumble atmosphere fazes him.  He confidently hits the bumper three times and clicks the winning combination.

Larry is with a woman (Sabrina), who he obviously adores.  She claps awkwardly at his victory.  Larry hands her his winnings.

“It’s all yours, honey.  You brought me good luck tonight. You always bring me luck.”

The other men are annoyed and threatening.  Larry doesn’t even notice.  

Sabrina pulls the cherry out of her drink and puts it in Larry’s mouth.  He bites it.

Larry:  “You’re a cherry, all right.  And I should know.  I grow ‘em in Arkansas.  That’s why I’m here, you know.  

Sabrina pulls him closer. 

Larry:  “I’m teaching the campesinos to grow ‘em better.”

Larry takes her tiny hand in his:  “How did your pinky get crooked like this, anyway?”

Sabrina:  “It grew that way.”

Larry:  “It doesn’t look natural-grown to me.  Did someone do that to you?”


Scene 3

Larry and Sabrina sit in the backseat of a taxi. 

Larry, to the driver:  “Right here is fine.”  

To Sabrina:  “We can walk to my place from here.”

They walk along a tree-lined street, arm-in-arm.  

Sabrina:  “Tell me more about your home, Larry.  You have a farm?”

Larry:  “I’m an organic farmer.  And that puts me at odds with my mother-in-law.   She’s got 8,000 acres in soy now.”

Sabrina:  “Your family is muy rica!”

Larry:  “Having money ain’t what it’s cracked up to be, honey.”

Sabrina gets her hair caught in a low-lying bough.

Larry:  “You know, they got little bugs here that clean the soil.  Meanwhile, my mother-in-law treats our soil with chemicals…forever chemicals, they call ‘em.”

Sabrina stumbles on the steps trying to enter Larry’s building.  

Inside, Larry binds her ankle.  “I always carry a first aid kit.  Something I picked up in the Boy Scouts.”

“I’ve doctored dogs, wild cats -- all manner of critters -- but never a philly like you.”

“Thank you, Doctor.  I love to see you.”

She kisses him on the lips. 

Sabrina:  “Larry, do you really like me?”

“Of course I do, cupcake.  Each time we visit I realize it’s time for this cowboy to pitch his tent downstream.”

“You mean, leave your wife?”

“You wouldn’t believe what she puts me through.  And her mother.  Most of my time, I’m fit to be tied.”

“I don’t know what that means, Larry.”

“It means you have qualities, honey, that I can’t find it home.”

“Tell me.”

“Kindness, a warm heart, and of course, a passion for life.”

“I like you, Larry.  You’re my king.”

While Larry is in the shower, Sabrina receives a phone call.


Scene 4

Outside the apartment, the Vicar is on his phone.  

Vicar:  “Have you done it?”

The Vicar can’t hear Sabrina because his henchman is trying to start a motorcycle.  

 “Would you shut the fuck up, maricon.”

Vicar, into his phone:  “Do it now, Sabrina.  And call us when the cowboy is out.”

When the kickstart pedal falls off the motorcycle, the Vicar’s cohort tumbles over. 

Laughter.  “Pendao.”


Scene 5

Back in the apartment:

Sabrina:  “How long have you been married, Larry?”

“For how much longer is the question.  I’m at the end of my rope.”

“Sin ropa?”

“In a minute, honey.  There’s no rush.  

“Ok, babe.”

“You see, honey.  My wife is frigid.  Cold.”

“En serio?”

“And you’re hotter than a stove poke.”

“I love your vibe, Larry.” 

“I’m falling for you like a ton of bricks.

“Your wife bad woman.”

“She’s forty miles of bad road.”

“Why do you stay with her, Larry?”

“I’m loyal as a dog, I guess.

“But Larry, you deserve the best.”

“You’re right, Sabrina.  Doggone it.  ”

“You are all man, Larry.”

Larry:  “I got to start standin’ up for myself.”

Sabrina embraces him. 

“I sure do like how you touch me.”

“I’m passionate about you, Larry.”

“I’m upside down over you.  It’s a darn tragedy my wife and her mother coming in tomorrow to ruin our good time.”

Larry sees the snacks are all gone.  

“You were hungry.”

Sabrina:  “I ate your nuts.”

“Excuse me?”

Sabrina:  “And now I’m thirsty.  Tengo sed.” 

Larry gently removes Sabrina’s glasses.  

Larry:  “You look swell.”

Sabrina grabs a blurry wine glass.  She can’t recall which is which.  She sips.

Larry:  “Here’s looking at you, honey.” 

Larry and Sabrina start to do the night thing.

Sabrina:  “Larry, how do you feel?

Larry:  “Swell, honey.  I’ve had a bluebird day, thanks to you.”

Sabrina:  “I will suck you now.”

Suddenly, Sabrina rolls over.

 “What’s wrong, honey?”

Sabrina:  “Oh my God, Larry!”

Larry:  “What honey?  You don’t like the wine?  

Sabrina:  “I’m dizzy.  Oh my God.”

Larry:  “It was the best Chablis in the store.”

Sabrina:  “Listen to me.  They made me do it…”

“Do what, honey?”

“Drug you.”

“Drug me?” 

“They will come here.”

“Who?”

“Those men in the pool hall.  They threatened me.” 

She attempts to dial her phone.  

Sabrina:  “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.  But they threatened to take my daughter.” 

Larry:  “Oh, my darling.”

Sabrina:  “They forced me to drug you, but I drank your glass of wine.”  

Larry:  “I’ll take care of it, honey.”

Sabrina:  “Here, talk to the Vicar.

Larry:  “I don’t talk Espanol.” 

The Vicar answers his phone.  

“What’s going on you ungrateful bitch?”

Sabrina (drooling):  “Perdon.  You’re on speaker.” 

Vicar:  “What the fuck!  Do you want me to twist the finger of your niña, too?”

Larry:  “Now you listen up, hombre.  This is Larry Stumpf.  American cherry farmer.” 

Sabrina rolls off the bed in a heap.  Larry tosses the phone onto the sofa.

Larry:  “Oh baby, did that man do this to you?”  

Vicar, on phone:  “Put Sabrina back on or you’re a dead man, gringo.”

Sabrina mumbles:  “They will kill you, Larry.  Do what they say.”

Larry, soothing her as she falls asleep:  “No one is going to kill anyone.”

Vicar:  “Gringo…hey, gringo!  …What the fuck.”

Larry lays Sabrina on the bed and kisses her.

Vicar:  “Don’t fuck with me, Sabrina …”


Scene 6

Time passes.  

Larry is asleep in a chair.  Sabrina’s phone is buzzing.

The Vicar and his henchmen stand outside the apartment.

Vicar:  “What the fuck is she doing?”

Henchman:  “I’ll climb up there to the balcony.”

As he climbs, a dog starts barking.  A Chihuahua bites his hand and he falls to the ground. 

Vicar:  “Get up, you idiot.” 

An OLD LADY ON CRUTCHES approaches the Vicar and whacks him on the back of the neck. 

Vicar:  “Ouh!  What was that for?”

Lady:  “You no man of God.  You bad man.”

The lady keeps hitting him and yelling, “You bad man.  God has plan for you!”

The gang knocks over the woman, steals her keys, and enters the building.


Scene 7

Inside the apartment, Sabrina‘s phone is buzzing again.

Larry awakes. 

 Larry
“What time is it?”

He has a text. 

“Holy moly, Sabrina.  Wake up baby.  My wife is coming!”

Sabrina:  “Oh, my head.”

She fumbles to answer her phone.

Vicar’s voice:  “Did you do it?”   

Sabrina:  “Yes.  Sort of.”   

Vicar:  “Is he out?”

Sabrina:  “Not exactly.”


Scene 8

The Vicar and his henchman come up the stairwell and bust through the door the apartment.

Larry:  “Who the hell are you!?”

Vicar, to Sabrina:  “What did you do, Sabrina?”  

Sabrina, to the Vicar:  “Go away!  I stay here!”

Larry:  “That’s right, Pastor.  Now get out!”

Vicar:  “Where is the money, Sabrina? 

Larry:  “What money?!  You better vamos, or else.”

Larry starts after the Vicar.  

Sabrina:  “Larry, no!”

Larry:  “Stand back, sweetie.  I might look like Elvis with a hangover, but I’ve been to the rodeo more than once.”

Vicar (revealing a long knife):  “Just give me your money, gringo.”

Larry:  “I have a bone to pick with you, minister.”

Larry lands a punch.  The vicar falls to the floor.

Sabrina grabs a frying pan from the kitchen and bangs it over a gang member’s head.  He’s out cold.

Larry lifts the Vicar and heads to the balcony.  

Sabrina:  “Larry, no!”

Larry is about to toss the Vicar over the balcony when he sees his mother-in-law and wife on the sidewalk below.

Larry:  “Shit ‘n’ shinola, now we’re in trouble.”

The MOTHER-IN-LAW, from below:  “Larry, is that you?  Get down here or I’m comin’ up after you.”

Vicar, groggily:  “Who is that?  She looks like the vice president.”

Larry tosses the Vicar onto the sofa.   

Larry:  “Listen, fellas.  We got trouble comin’ up here.  Y’all better vamoose.”

Sabrina and Larry stand together and prepare for the worst.

Mother-in-law (breathless):  “Larry, get your dumb ass in that taxi down there.”

Larry:  “No, Charlene.  I’ve made a decision.”

Mother-in-law:  “Larry, you don’t make decisions.”

Larry:  “I do now.”

Sabrina clutches Larry, now wearing her glasses and underwear.

Now Larry’s wife enters.   She’s fat. 

Deb (about to faint):  “Oh my God, Larry.”  

Mother-in-law:  “He’s out of his mind.”

Deb:  “What are you doing with that… person?”

Larry:  “Dang it!  I’m not crazy.  I’ve just had all I can take from the two of you.”

Mother in law:  “I’m calling the police.”

Panicking, the Vicar lunges for her phone.

Vicar, to his henchmen:  “Tie her up!  We can hold her for ransom!”

Larry:  “That’s a bad plan, hombre.  No one back home will pay a dime for her.”

Deb:  “Larry, shut your hick mouth.”

Larry:  “Deb, please.  I want no more of this, or you.”

Deb:  “Oh my God.  I’m having a panic attack.  Look at me.  I’m breaking out in a pig sweat!”

Larry:  “Doggone it.  I belong here.”

The WOMAN ON CRUTCHES appears in the doorway.

“That’s them!”

The POLICE enter and capture the Vicar and other gang members.

Then they try to grab Sabrina. 

Larry:  “She’s with me.  We’re gonna be married.”

Sabrina:  “Oh, Larry.”

Mother-in-law:  “Come on, Deb.  Let’s get outta this dump.” 

To Larry:  “And you’ll be hearing from our lawyers.”

Suddenly everybody has vanished and the apartment is all theirs.  

Sabrina takes off her glasses.

Larry and her kiss.

Larry:  “After God created you, honey, he basically lost interest.”

Female Newscaster:  “There’s been a break in the ‘Vicar of Escopoline’ case.  Gang members were apprehended late last night…”

Dawn breaks over the city of Medellin. Trio en Medellín

Part Two


“Larry and Sabrina”


Scene 1

We find a nondescript gringo in a bar in Poblado, Medellin.  He’s had too much to drink and attempts to grope Sabrina, a scantily-clad 31 year-old paisa.  When he turns away, she pours white powder into his highball. 

We watch a man dressed as a Vicar offer assistance to the gringo, as he stumbles out of the bar.   

From around a corner, a women with three half-starved children approaches and pleads with the vicar to make a confession. 

The vicar laughs:  “I don’t have enough time to hear your confession, mujer.  Now get out of here, or else!” 

Three henchmen and the Vicar dump the gringo into the trunk of a car.  

CUT TO

A Television Newscast.  

A female broadcaster describes “another in a series of assaults on foreign men in Medellín by the ‘Vicar of Escopolina.’”

“…No one knows where or when this ruthless gang will strike next.”

Music and credits -- a dark urban beat, with Gregorian overtones.



Scene 2

Larry Stumpf, a strapping blond-

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